Thinking in circles
Do you ever feel something that you don't understand? I can't put a name to the way I feel these days... I really think that if it wasn't for my son I would just ask for a transfer somewhere far away and start all over, getting to know no one, letting no one in. Other than my best friend Rhonda, and seemingly my ex, R, I can't seem to have good relationships. The only common denominator in all of them is me, so I must be the problem, right? There is something I am doing wrong.
Andy... Hawk... Not to mention Will, who still calls me almost every day from South Carolina. I must be too nice. Men only seem to stay with women who treat them like shit.
*sigh*
Anyway... There is a woman at work who is talking about me behind my back, saying I'm not doing my job... Boss says not to worry about her, and I'm not, but it pisses me off that she is so nice to my face. I HATE people who won't be honest. If she has something against me, she needs to tell it to my face... Drives me nuts, not that I let her know that... I have gone through this before... And ALWAYS, I am still there when they move on to their next job...
I am thinking about taking the Postal Service test. That is what Hawk does, you know... Even part time I would take home more that I make in a week now... I would only want a rural route, though, and since I have a 4 wheel drive now I could do that... We will see what happens.
Andy... Hawk... Not to mention Will, who still calls me almost every day from South Carolina. I must be too nice. Men only seem to stay with women who treat them like shit.
*sigh*
Anyway... There is a woman at work who is talking about me behind my back, saying I'm not doing my job... Boss says not to worry about her, and I'm not, but it pisses me off that she is so nice to my face. I HATE people who won't be honest. If she has something against me, she needs to tell it to my face... Drives me nuts, not that I let her know that... I have gone through this before... And ALWAYS, I am still there when they move on to their next job...
I am thinking about taking the Postal Service test. That is what Hawk does, you know... Even part time I would take home more that I make in a week now... I would only want a rural route, though, and since I have a 4 wheel drive now I could do that... We will see what happens.
7 Comments:
I don't think men stay with a woman because she treats him like shit. I think many men stay with a woman because of the high cost of leaving. That's the emotional cost as well as the financial cost. It's hard to move on into the unknown. The present condition, no matter how bad, always seems better than possibly being alone and broke.
Relationships are a lot like jobs. It seems that in order to get along you have to have or be in one. We put up with the things we don't like for the benefits we get. It is hard to do without a job/relationship so we tend to hang on too long to a unsatisfying job/relationship. You often have to let go of one and free fall a while before you can grab on to another.
If kids are involved, its even harder to move on. Usually the man has to give up the kids, not always an easy thing.
You are not going to move because of your son. You could leave your son with your ex and move. But you are not going to. The same is true for some men.
I am talking here in generalities. I don't really know you and your situations. However I can send you my best wishes for you to be happy.
We all feel that way at times. We get so bogged down with life we seem to lose our ability to live.
As for the back stabber, tell her one more time and you will pinch off her head and tell the gods she died.
It would be very irresponsible for me to leave my son with his father... He can't pay his bills, not because he doesn't make enough money but just because he never gets around to paying them, he drinks regularly (in court next week for the DUI that trashed my car) he never gets around to fixing things, so he lives with broken, trashed stuff... He never makes our son stick to a schedule, which is what he needs as an ADHD child, never makes him go to bed at a decent hour... He doesn't even have beds in his house... If he was a responsible person leaving our son with him would be an option... but I don't have that luxury...
I personally ended the marriage because I didn't want my son growing up thinking that ours was the way a marriage was supposed to work... Other people don't think that way, and so dysfunctional marriages are passed on...
Thanks, Buffalo, for the advice about the back stabber... I'm not too worried, I have had several of these types of coworkers before, and the other both got fired, but I'm still here... LOL
Sorry, but I think part of my comment was not well written. I did not mean that you would or should leave your boy with your ex. I was just trying to point out that some times men do not leave a bad relationship because of the kids. Just as you do not want to leave your boy with the ex, some men do not want to leave their kids with their ex-to-be. Be it for their love for the kids or their fear of the bad way the kids would be looked after if the men are not around.
Reading back over this comment I still am not sure if I wrote clearly enough to get my idea across. I have been writing about why it is hard to leave a bad relationship
I know what you mean.. but Andy isn't ever there anyway... He is a truck driver, and although he is home most nights, it isn't until 10pm or later... and his only day off during the week is spent farming for his dad...
It wasn't hard at all to leave my relationship with R when I realized that my son would end up just like his father if I didn't... BTW - Andy stays away from home on purpose because of the fighting and the fact that he tries to make the kids behave during the 10% of the time he is there, but she doesn't discipline them at all the other 90% of the time...Makes him look like the bad guy - the kids don't like him much, and she perpetuates that by what she says about him when he is gone...
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